Dialogue Series: Chinella Miller - Vol 1.1
I went to high school with Chinella, I didn’t know her too well then but our dialogue on life experiences since has reconnected us with so much to teach and learn from one another. My goal for this episode is to encourage the many young women who have stories similar to Chinella’s, to be revived, strengthened and not give up hope. It is unimaginable for a 32 year old single mother of 7 to sustain, live life, travel to see the world, find happiness, feel beautiful and love. Especially to have grew in the south-side of Chicago. I was curious to hear the story of this strong soul.
As a photographer I’m able to read, see and feel the emotions of my subjects. In some of our conversations I could hear the distress in her voice. She smiles to cover her pain and her attractive laughs distracts any signal of stress. Chinella can be quite at time, to where you can tell that her mind and emotions are steered towards her kids.
In her own words she goes, “I have 7 children. Yes 7. No, I don’t have any twins. Yes, they all came out of me.”
“I know it’s hard to believe it just by looking at me. Sometimes I don’t believe it myself, especially since I didn’t want any children growing up. My life has been a sharp contrast to how I imagined it to be. But with all the good and bad, I love every minute of it.”
The lack of a better support system added to the difficulty of Chinella’s life while raising her children. I began with her first mate who she meet in High School,...
“There’s not a word to describe how hard that is. I’ve endured mental, physical, sexual and emotional abuse; all before I was old enough to comprehend what I was going through.... At 15, I found myself pregnant by a manipulating young boy, and being immature i had the belief that having a child with him will keep us together. He never loved me and I knew that.”
“I was once homeless, at 19, with his 4 children and begged him to ask his grandmother to let us stay with them. She wouldn’t allow me to move in unless we got married. He said we weren’t ready. 3 months later, after I found a home and good job, he decided we were ready. I agreed because I knew that if I didn’t marry him, he wouldn’t help with our kids. I was so close to finishing college and I just needed him around for a few months.”
“My son, at the age of 5 witnessed a domestic incident between my husband and I. This sort of gave me the strength to end his abuse and the marriage. A mate in marriage is supposed to add to you in all areas as you grow together but I got nothing from this relationship but a hole in my heart and kids to raise by myself.”
